The Louver Poll Conclusion

My name is Dorisa, I am 33 years old and I have brown eyes. Most of you know these to be facts, as did I until 11:30 last night. Imagine my surprise when upon looking through some old photos that I discovered that my eyes are in fact, NOT brown. Yea, shocker. My mother assures me that they used to be very brown, but they haven’t been for a long time because the photo I saw it in was from 2006. Don’t ask me how I didn’t notice that I was lying. I have no idea. Apparently eye color changes in about 10-15% of the adult population, so if you have just been assuming you know what color your eyes are, check again; you might be wrong. Let me know what you think my new eye color is. There still is brown in there, but it's definitely not the dominant color anymore.

Meanwhile, while Oskar is out spreading rumors and telling people I sleep all day, Elena is my champion.

Elena: “What are you doing?”
Me: “Sitting and relaxing.”
Elena: “I didn’t know you could do that!”

Well, the louver poll is closed and while Dan technically won, it’s safe to say that we are both losers here. With statements like: “Everybody knows what a louver is!” and “No one knows what a louver is! You only know because of your job!” we would have needed more than a 3 vote difference to say either one of us was right. Anyway, all y’all who don’t know what a louver is? Please educate yourselves.

I caved and Elena has recently started ballet and tap. She loves it so much and despite me not wanting my kids in so many activities at this age, she is doing exceedingly well in both dance and gymnastics. Besides thinking gymnastics is a race, that is. She’s still not hurting for confidence either. We got a save the date the other day and she pointed to the guy in the photo and goes, “Is that the silly boy who loves me?”

Putting her awesomeness aside, we may need to get a psych evaluation done on her someday. I mean, she’s had a couple creepy moments previously, like when she randomly said the sun was burning out (technically not wrong) and when I told her not to choke me and she responded by saying, “Not yet,” but she did a couple drawings lately that had me cringing.

The first isn’t as bad as I initially believed, it is apparently a camel, but I definitely thought it was her having a bonfire on the couch. Though she just clarified that someone sprayed fire on it, so yea, this here is a picture of a camel… on fire:

Alright, moving on. Next picture. Here I thought she had drawn a baby in a hot air balloon. Cute, right? 

No. No, it wasn’t. Because I had it upside down.  It’s a girl. A girl on a mountain who is sick. Okay, so that’s fine. Kind of sacrificial offering in depiction, but whatever. “She’s going up into space!” Well, that’s pretty cool! Why is she going up into space, sweetie? “To get kill the aliens and get died.” Well that’s just great.

Add all this to her comment about refusing to play a game that doesn’t include eating or killing and I am becoming a bit on edge around her. I mostly joke, but seriously, if any of you all are licensed professionals in the art of understanding children and I have any reason to fear for my life, please let me know. She’s often quite a sweet child, but she does enjoy hurting with hugs, so add that to your evaluation.

Oskar is a trouble right now and Dan has admitted he is to blame for passing down his behavior and ADD (currently being assessed). I am struggling because my brain works so much in the opposite direction of his that we are having major communication issues. We are fortunate so far as any issue he may or may not have has not yet impeded his academic progress and he continues to do well in school, even with the lack of focus and distraction. We really struggled (Oskar and me) with communicating when he was three(but who doesn't at three?), and at the time if we both just stopped yelling at each other and I gave him a hug, we were able to figure it out. That method has unfortunately gotten less and less effective and he has gotten infinitely louder, so, yea, it’s been rough lately.

My favorite breakdown recently ended with Oskar screaming, “YOU’RE TREATING ME LIKE THEY TREATED MARTIN LUTHER KING JUNIOR!” To clarify, we were doing no such thing. Fortunately, even he saw the absurdity of his statement and didn’t make it through the sentence without laughing. I was seriously appalled that he thought to even utter such a phrase and I was caught somewhere between laughing and crying. I’m so, so glad that we were at home and no one else heard this. After a lengthy conversation explaining that even his largest plights as a middle class white boy would never compare to those of anyone fighting for civil rights, I knew the lesson hit home when he responded by saying, “You can’t ring the liberty bell.” So Dan said, in summary, “That’s right, you can’t ring the liberty bell and you can’t compare your struggles to civil rights leaders.” There are so many things we say as parents that just ought not to be said, but then there they are, and there’s no going back. A couple days later he jumped on me in bed saying, “That man who killed Martin? We can infer that he was a VERY bad man.” Thank you, Oskar. That is very important information to tell me first thing in the morning. Excellent use of ‘infer.’

Now here's Oskar to sing us out:

A little something to finish up the year

If anyone knows what the hell happened to the last 4 months, please let me know because I lost them. This is going to be a rough one, buckle in.

After 2 months of nearly constant studying and testing, I successfully completed the last part of the Architectural Registration Examination on August 4th. The “paperwork” took another two months after that, but I finally got my license. It’s behind me now and I am so glad to be done.

Regarding puppy chow, she says, "That looks dirty."
"Do you want to try some?"
"Mmmm. That is bery delicious."
(She can't say very.)

The day after I passed my last test, I hoofed it out of town with a good friend of mine and we trekked all the way out to Laramie, Wyoming, where another friend was waiting for us. Meanwhile, Dan took the kids and his parents to family camp. Last time I “vacationed” to family camp I came back even more exhausted than when I left. I did not want to go again. This was the longest I have ever been away from my children, and while I missed them, I was fine with it. It’s nice to remember that you are an actual individual person, not only a servant/bodyguard. We had a great time in Wyoming (and on the road to and from) and took some particularly inspired pictures. My friend is a creative genious and we went to Carhenge TWO TIMES! Changed my life. When we were there I laughed harder than I had in years. It was absolutely amazing.

Be a bear!

Now pretend your arms are tusks!

Labor day weekend brought with it the usual craziness of the state fair and the renaissance festival but we also added in the Bison game at Target field, because how could we not? My little Bison were adorable, and I think Oskar now legitimately considers himself a fan of the team. Elena was exhausted and quit midways through the 4^th quarter, so we carried a very sleepy girl all the way home on the light rail.

We hit renn fest on the perfect day where weather was crappy in the morning and lots of people gave up trying to get in when they got stopped by a train so it was not at all busy and absolutely wonderful.

In an effort to try new things, we convinced Oskar to try out of the Christmas Carol at the high school. We talked about it on and off for a while to get him prepared and as I was about to turn off his light one night, he goes, “I think I’m going to be one of the skating penguins…” “Oskar, I told you that’s not the right Christmas Carol. ” “Or a rat.” At least we know that he is watching the right movies. I had fully intended on showing up and getting in and out of this tiny audition in 15 minutes, quite unaware that everyone and their brother would also be auditioning. All he had to do was sing The First Noel, which he absolutely nailed on the way over there. After waiting in line for an hour however, he lost his focus and didn’t sing nearly as well as he did in the car. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still proud of him for trying, but I would have appreciated if he hadn’t yelled out, “Finally we can get out of here!” as he left.

Pretend campfire.

I took Elena to Arby’s last night and on the way over she said, “I don’t want to bleed again.” About a month and a half ago we went to Arby’s and she fell into the window mullion, slicing open her gums above her front teeth. Holy moses did that thing bleed. It was gushing for probably 5 minutes. Thankfully there was no permanent physical damage, but apparently the trauma remains. She will not be sitting by the window in Arby's any time soon.

I didn’t get bronchitis or pneumonia this year!!! Even with passing the ARE, I consider this my biggest accomplishment of 2019. I’m so happy. In other news I’m trying to get back into my hobbies and projects. I’ve started writing again (obviously not talking about the blog, we know that’s not going well) and I have a couple t-shirt quilts started in the basement. Some of the t-shirts I’m using are shirts with quotes on them from high school. I cracked up reading them the other day. For the most part I can’t remember who said what, but as a group I must say we were kind of funny. Whoever said “Don’t steal Dorisa’s food or she’ll kill you”? Yea, that’s still true. Good work. After those quilts are done I’m going to get into my photo organization and get some family yearbook type things made. And no, none of these are resolutions, just me trying to take care of myself. Basic human maintenance things that have been haunting me and I'm sick of it.

Had this idea for a photo. Turned out okay, but not the best.
I might try an redo it, but as she gets taller it's loosing the effect I was going for.
 Standing there posing for this shot though? Yea, painful.
My body definitely isn't the same as it was when I was dancing and I'm sure the 20 year old shoes didn't help.

Oskar learns about lady genders.

I have no idea how this happened, but Oskar now refers to a woman's breasts as "lady genders." "Even the crack!" Oh my goodness. At least he also knows that this is a private area. That's good I suppose. On the bright side, I think he's finally through the phase of asking EVERYONE if they are pregnant. That was a fun one.

We got in the car a couple weeks ago and Oskar wanted us to do cheer type thing.
"Put your hand in!" Oskar
"I can't- I'm driving." Me
"3! 2!1!" Oskar
"Wait what are we saying?" Dan
"Blast off." Oskar
"3!2!1! Blast off!" All.
"Now we are all super heroes!" Oskar
"What kind are you?" Dan
"Batmans!" Elena
"Pikachu!" Oskar
"Mommy is wonder woman!" Elena
Silence.
"Daddy, you're squirtle." Oskar.
I hope you found this as amusing as I did. If not, my apologies.

I'm happy to report that I passed another test yesterday- Construction and Evaluation. That leaves 2 tests (project management and practice management) and 25 hours of experience in construction and evaluation left. My reward for passing this test was a Carmelicious from Scooter's, watching 2 movies and doing a blog post without feeling guilty about spending time on this. You're welcome. I'm worried I'm getting a little overconfident with these tests though. Hopefully it doesn't lead to karmic failure.

The thing about taking 6 tests at a testing center is that you become familiar with the employees at the center. It's kind of nice. I got to talking with one of the women there yesterday and it came out that I was married to a pastor and she knew I lived in Brandon because of all the security procedures we go through to test and she goes, "Wait, what church is he at?" I answered. "Do you have little red heads running around?" Are you freaking kidding me?!? "Yes, I have two spirited children, one of whom has red hair." "And your husband has red hair?" "Yes..." "My in-laws are .....!" (Reminder: I don't use other people names on the blog.) THIS COMMUNITY IS TOO SMALL. Don't get me wrong, she was delightful and I enjoyed chatting with her, but I'm a person who enjoys some anonymity. Although knowing that someone could identify me as "that pastor's wife" does keep my behavior in check sometimes. Sometimes. And I gotta be honest, in all the imaginings of how my life would go, it did not included recognition by the general population for being a pastor's wife. Me at 18: "This is my life plan!" God: "Hold my beer."

Part of me getting through my architecture exams has been telling myself to study now and then I can read for fun after I get through them all. It didn't work completely, but I held off on a lot of books so I have a queue on my desk that is about 15" high. I delved into the pile the other day and started reading Mischling. It is about Mengele's zoo in Auschwitz, so obviously it is disturbing, but the writing is so surprisingly poetic, especially considering the dark subject matter. And I mean good poetic, not like poetry, which I hate. I haven't finished it yet, but so far I recommend it. One nice surprise is that it looks like a fairly long book, but it's a quick read. Usually I don't like quick reads, but when trying to get through a pile it is acceptable. Next up is Roots. I doubt that will be a quick read. Physical fitness has also been on hold until I get through these tests. Unlike reading for fun, I have had no such issue with not going to the gym.

Oskar has decided he would no longer like to take dance class. He still loves to dance, but does not like doing a routine. We knew this long ago- full of spirit but doesn't like being told what to do. I wonder where he gets that from? Both of us. He gets it from both of us. I asked him if he was sure he didn't want to dance anymore and he said, "I can dance at home!" Oskar would like to take ninja class this school year and Elena would like to do 'nastics' too. I think I found a place where they can take class at the same time, which I'm super excited about, but I don't really want to spend the money on classes for 2 kids, but that is parenthood.

Dan is on a mission trip with the church kids this week, so obviously this is the week ALL the bugs have decided to move inside. No giant spiders yet, but pretty much everything else. The vacuum has become a permanent fixture in my living room. Meanwhile, we're skipping church today and chilling at home. My children are both painting peacefully at the table and singing along to their VBS CD. I don't know what is happening, but it's magical. Just the calm before the storm...

Uvulas, Dragons and Punching

My apologies for how scattered this post is. I have been busy. Dan has been busy. We have all been busy.

Ahhhh, friends.

A while back I saw Oskar’s silver dollar sitting out after I had told him to put it somewhere safe. I noticed it was tarnishing and I wanted to shine it up so I took it so he wouldn’t lose it. If anyone knows where it is, please let me know. It’s been three months. Remember when I was organized? I don't.

In an abundance of caution a couple weeks ago I took Elena to the doctor to check on a weird cough she had and we made a startling discovery. She has a bifid uvula! Super creepy! Apparently it happens sometimes and rarely causes issues so we’re not worried. But it is so weird looking. I wasn't able to get a great picture, but it looks like a whale tail. Crazy. I'm choosing to believe this is why she is so loud.

For so many reasons, I thoroughly enjoyed our trip to Chicago in May.

Part of the reason I have been so busy is that I have been studying to try and complete the ARE before the end of the summer. This has been a burden on us all since I usually try to get to the office by 6-6:30 to study for this crap. This puts Dan all alone for morning duty with the kids and pretty much puts me in bed by 9:00. Apparently it is working though and I’m proud to report that since June 8^th I have passed three of the exams. For those of you who don’t know, the ARE is a series of six tests I need to complete to become an architect. The first two I took were the longest and even though I was fairly confident going in, they were difficult and afterward I was exhausted. The one I took today was MUCH easier. That was a relief. Plus the computer I was assigned wouldn’t work so I got to be in a room all by myself! It was great. I might see if I can request that room again. Three more tests and 41 hours of experience in construction and evaluation to go until I can finally call myself an architect. Huzzah!

Apparently the haircut came with an attitude. Yes she has the longest legs in the land.

Elena is trying to hurt our feelings when we make her mad. She doesn’t quite understand it yet though because her yelling, “I’m not your mom anymore!” just doesn’t cut me like I think she wants it to. Another classic: "Ugh! You're making me evil!!!" That's right, discipline is making my daughter evil. When she takes over the world I want you all to know that we tried. We really tried. She recently attended a gymnastic camp. We are trying to channel her strength into something positive.

Many of you saw that Oskar recently had his dance recital. He did great, but is unsure if he wants to continue. He doesn't like being told what to do. He was the only boy on the stage and their choreography was pretty stinking cute and they got a few awes and giggles. Afterward I went up to him and said "Did you know you stole the show?" (Maybe extreme, but he did for me.) He responded, "I did NOT know that!" So cute. He just finished a golf camp as well and did really well in that- or at least he enjoyed it and that is enough right now.

Oskar’s heart is so big. A while back Elena got hurt and it made Oskar a little upset and he said, “I don’t like to see her get hurt because I just love her so much.” A few days later he was hysterically sobbing while watching Pokemon. Sophocles was supposed to be moving and had to say goodbye to all his friends. Due to the nature of Dan’s job, we’ve been preparing the kids for an eventual move since we moved here just so it’s not a surprise when the time comes. So I’m sitting here thinking, oh gosh he really is struggling with this- moving is NOT going to go well. So I asked him what was going on. HE WAS SOBBING WITH JOY. Apparently Sophocles didn’t have to move after all. Overall I think they are doing okay with the concept though because they were pretending to move the other day (because I’ve been watching a lot of House Hunters) and Oskar shouted, “I’m excited to meet new friends!”

Oskar has another, darker side though: "She made me so angry that I HAD to punch her." No buddy, no you did not.

Is she sleeping? Did she fall out of a plane? Who knows?

“Mommy! Birdie in the garage.”
“What? There’s a bird in the garage? Just let it be- it’ll leave when it’s ready.”

“Birdie fell and is sleeping.”
“That birdie isn’t sleeping.”
“Birdie is dead?”
“Ellie what happened? Where did it come from?”
Points at the lilac bush.
“I just looked at it and it fell and it’s dead now?”
“Yea, sweetie, it’s okay. Sometimes birdies die. Can you say bye-bye birdie?”
“Bye-bye birdie”
“Good job sweetie.”
I’m not entirely sure what happened here, but until it happens again, I’m going to tell myself that it was just bad timing.

We are in a mac & cheese conundrum. After writing that sentence I’m a little disappointed that this is a thing. Oskar rediscovered he doesn’t like the taste of actual cheese, so he often doesn’t like real mac & cheese and Elena is a cheese junkie and decided she doesn’t like boxed mac & cheese. It’s been fun. I know there are people with much bigger problems, but this is just stupid.

There are many things people don’t understand about simultaneously being a pastor’s wife and Oskar’s mom. Like the absolute terror I experience every time a question is asked during a children’s sermon. I don’t recall being mortified yet, but there is always that risk. If nothing else, he is usually good for a laugh. “Does anyone know what hallelujah means?” “Um, like, yay.”

Do you remember when the witch in the Wizard of Oz melts from the water? Remember the whiny, screechy voice? Now you know what my daughter sounds like when the sun is in her eyes. After some quick research I see that that actress had a 2-3 year old while she was filming the movie. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

Nobody asked for it, but here it is.

I've started going to the gym in the morning and I'm pretty
sure this is what I look like every day I show up.

When I had bronchitis/pneumonia for 46 days (but who’s counting?) last fall, there was some kind of muscle related pop on my ribs (the ones that are chronically injured, yes). This resulted in the temporary inability to raise my arm/do many things. It was definitely not as bad as when I tore the muscle in my back when I had bronchitis a couple years ago, but the injury lingered for a long time. A couple weeks ago I stretched my back and for the first time it didn't hurt. I started giggling like a fool. Now when I stretch I find myself bracing for a pain that doesn't come. I'm so happy.

Working on her night naan.

I am obnoxiously proud of the fact that I have never lost a child’s sock. I don’t care if anyone finds this pride annoying. This is a nearly impossible feat and I’ve done it! So far anyway. We had one that was MIA for a few months, but the lost was found and there was much rejoicing. Now the only single socks we have are a result of their mate wearing out and heading for the giant laundry basket in the sky. Now they serve as back up, waiting their turn to serve when the other threads simply cannot hold on any more.

The universe has observed my pride, sniggered at me and retaliated in kind. My goal is to end the year with just 1 mitten. I’m not even going for a pair any more. Just one. And the world isn’t even being kind and taking pairs so I might not notice- oh no. It is taking one at a time so I have like 6 single mittens. Kids about to look reaaaal scrappy. Mitten here, mitten there, mitten everywhere EXCEPT FOR A WHOLE PAIR. 

*Recently 2 lost mittens were actually found and since the weather is getting nicer, we might end the year with a pair for each kid!

Oskar visited our new office where he got to have a picnic with ice cream.

I drive a tiny car now, unless the weather is bad, then I take the Edge. Most days, I drive a Honda Insight. It is lovingly referred to as Tiny White Car and was purchased when I got my job 2 years ago. I had 5 days to find a car and figure out how to pay for it. I went to the dealership to inquire about a Honda Fit and the dude said it had sold that morning, but he had a car that was newer, had less miles on it, got better mileage and was less expensive. Yes, please. (If you need a recommendation on a salesman at Vern Eide Honda let me know- he was great to work with.) Anyway, the car is almost always great. It doesn’t love the snow and it is a hybrid and really efficient so the heater takes a LONG time to warm up. Now that the snow has melted we are doing fine again and last winter the snow wasn’t much of an issue, but this winter every time I backed out of my driveway and put it into drive, I got the little light that pops on with the car and the squiggly car tires saying that the tires aren’t tracking properly on the ground. Okay buddy, I’m aware of nothing more IN THE WORLD right now than the fact that my tires aren’t doing their job. I got it. Thanks. 

We’ve been back to the cities a few times this winter and I gotta say that it feels really good to have so many people tell me they miss me and ask when I’m moving back. Although I must say that Dan and I got a card for Valentine’s day from a congregation member thanking us for being here and saying how much she appreciated us. That felt pretty good too.

New carpet tiles in the new bedroom downstairs. I've never been less sure of any design decision in my life, but at $.75/sf I thought it was worth the risk. I actually think I like it. It suits the space at least. This area did not flood.

On to the flooding. So far, we don’t think that it is as bad as we thought. All our walls are fine. The part that sends me into a flippin’ rage is the floor. I bought the laminate hardwood flooring when I was pregnant with Elena because they were on sale and I was hoping we could do some basement work before she arrived. 27 boxes at I would say about 20 pounds/box. I picked this up by myself because I do what I want. If anyone remembers anything about me being pregnant, it’s that I didn’t have a good time. Hauling these boxes onto the trolley, out to the car and into the car was a challenge. Then Dan helped haul them into the house, where they sat for 3.5 years, waiting to be installed. We had to moved them a couple times in the basement as well to accommodate for various work when we finally started finishing the basement last fall. We installed the flooring about 2 months ago. The video made it look so easy. IT WAS NOT EASY. Videos lie. My knees lost years of their lives and Dan got a blood blister that expanded out from his thumb a half inch. Installing that floor was awful, but we did (most of) it and it was pretty beautiful. The kids loved it. I loved pretending the basement was no longer filled with spiders. A good time was had by all. 

Our beautiful floor that was not meant to be.

Then we noticed there were a couple planks that didn’t lock in properly. No biggie, whatever, we will fix one and forget about the other one that we can’t get at. Then Oskar asked to help clean. YES. I’ve only been waiting my whole life to hear that. He left a wet rag on the seam and it bubbled up a bit. Fine, we’ll have a rug over that anyway. No biggie. Well, then the rains came down and the flood came up. As far as we know, in it’s 63 years of existence, our house has never flooded. And I will be the first to say that we were very, very lucky. Our beautiful floor however? Not so much. The laminate kept the water low and spread out over the entire floor, whereas if the flooring wasn’t down it probably would have just been in the corner. Some of the boards were salvageable, most were not. I took this as a sign that we should choose another path for our flooring. Frustrating, but we’re moving on. I went to go talk to a flooring guy in  town and he was telling me the upgrades in laminate flooring- like the lack of particle board as the base. And I essentially said that’s great, but no thanks. No way am I going through all that again. 

There was even a booga on the laminate flooring boxes! Strawberry blonde baby stacking bricks like a pro.

Elena is obsessed with sharks. I was reading a National Geographic last night and she snuggled her face up next to the shark and then ran out f the room, because she of course needed her shark. She brought it back and her shark met the magazine sharks. She's great. Oskar asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up and we were listing a whole bunch of jobs she could have. After going on for a couple minutes, she chimes in and says, "a swimming pool!" There are some times I think she is so smart, this was not necessarily one of those times.

Oskar participated in the science fair a couple weeks ago. His project was called Sea Gleam (picked it himself) and he investigated why the ocean looks glittery. I was very impressed by his experiment ideas and he was so excited to win 3^rd place. Literally jumped and ran to get his ribbon. I"m pretty sure he still thinks he won and since it is't harming anyone, I'm done trying to convince him otherwise.

I apologize that you may not have found this as humorous as other posts, but it is a post nonetheless and maybe will get me back on track to updating more often.

No Pictures of Kids. Weird.

Hello!

There is some road construction near us that has pushed my patience with Brandon and Sioux Falls to the brink. I don’t mind road construction. In fact, I support it and yearn for the day when someone replaces the “road” that we live on. To summarize, there are sheets of metal on the road to keep the road in good condition where the truck crossing is. The speed limit through this area is 35 mph. Fine. Works for me. We do not need to fly through this construction zone with a corner, near a hill, I get it. What I absolutely do not understand are the people who insist on going over the metal sheets at 4 mph. SERIOUSLY. These bumps are not life threatening! Drive down ANY of the roads in the older part of town and you will find dozens of pot holes deeper  than those sheets are tall and much more out to get you. Drive, people. DRIVE. I’d like to say my rant is over, but it resets at every commute, so yeah, I might need to drive to work a different way.

This was taken at the end of our epic hike. I was enjoying the cool water on my feet and I looked up, snapped a quick pic and got the heck outta there.

Dan and I took a vacation for our anniversary this year. A real vacation: not a family trip. It was great. We went to a friend’s wedding in Fargo for the first half and then went out to Teddy Roosevelt National Park for the second bit. If you’re curious, the North Dakota Badlands are MUCH prettier than the South Dakota ones. So beautiful. We went on this stupid long hike that killed me (a Dan and Dorisa National Park Tradition) but it was stunning and at least we reached our destination- unlike the ill-fated hike in Glacier. We saw all the animals that the park boasts about, except for rattlesnakes and let’s face it, I’m not complaining. While the kids enjoyed a week with grandma and grandpa, Dan and I walked around Medora without a stroller. And we ate while sitting down. And we didn’t wake up to a crying Elena or either kid crawling into our bed. And we golfed Bully Pulpit, which was amazing and beautiful. Having children really helps you appreciate the time you spend alone.

I thought this picture was going to be so cool. Turns out I was too far away and the main subject is peeing. Can't win 'em all.

Oskar has started kindergarten and from what we can tell it is going well. He does the after-school program as well and has only gotten 2 head injuries there so far, so do with that information whatever you would like. He gets so mad when we come to pick him up. It’s a little annoying. I thought he would appreciate not having to stay at school so long, but I was quite wrong. Dude could stay there all night and be fine apparently. He is currently taking a tap and ballet class with a couple of his friends and complains that the class is too short, so that’s good. 

Baby bison!

State Fair/Renn-Fest/Zoo weekend went well. Although I have never seen Oskar break down in quite so epic a fashion as he did when we had to leave grandma and grandpa’s house on Labor Day. He actually fell asleep weeping once we got in the car. Meanwhile Elena was smiling and waving saying, “Bye-bye grampa, bye-bye gramma!” They are different. Oskar has some work to do regarding transitioning.

Elena is at once the sweetest and most evil child in the whole land. As she’s getting older, she’s becoming a little less mean I suppose, but is still a bit manipulative. I realize evil may not be quite the right word, but it’s the best I have right now. She is too strong, too daring and too trusting to understand that she could ever be hurt. Luckily, she has toned down on attacking others. When she actually does get hurt she only cries for about 5 seconds. I don’t think she actually really ever feels anything. Might need to look in on that. I am NOT looking forward to taking her to the dentist this fall. Oh, you poor, poor hygienist, you have no idea what is coming. she did great during he early childhood screening, although I think she thought she was just putting on a show. She was asked to balance on one foot, did so, and then turned her head with this giant opened mouth grin.

On our way out of the park we finally saw ALL the bison. It was like this in every direction. Felt a bit bad for the dude on his bicycle, but hopefully he knew that there was a chance of running into some wildlife.

This was good timing. Bad lighting, but good timing.

For those of you who were around when I hurt my rib 18 years ago, yes, 18 years ago, I am absolutely thrilled to announce that it is still not better, just as the doctor said it wouldn’t be. I was speaking with another doctor the other day and it is our belief that pregnancy only made things worse with all the loosening of tendons and whatever else which is why it has gotten so much worse in the last few years. As much fun as it is to be sitting at my desk and suddenly not be able to breathe due to my rib randomly moving and causing excruciating pain with the expansion of my lungs, I decided that it is time to improve my situation. Physical therapy starts next week my friends. We are searching for any and all exercises that will help hold my rib in place that don’t cause pain to my rib to complete; should be super fun. I talked to the woman who runs our gym and she gave me one exercise to start with so at least I know that there are possibilities out there, but I’m not overly optimistic about it since I also know that this is a freaking rib sprain that I was told I would suffer from for the rest of my life. I just completed my Trunk Assessment for the therapist; I did not score well.

This place was amazing. Even the golf carts were orange. Perfect.

Dorisa forgets how to be a person

Ice cream on a hot and windy day.

And then it was July. Just a warning, this post is a mess. Hopefully the pretty pictures will distract you from the terrible writing.

The hardest week of the year recently came to a close. It's the week where Dan leaves on a youth trip and I'm left alone with the kids. Luckily this time they headed to grandpa and grandma's for a few days. I was a single lady without kids for 2 days and I gotta be honest with you, I kind of don't know how to be a person anymore. What do people do when they don't have kids? There are so many hours in the day! And I had so much energy! If I didn't have kids oh man I would get stuff done. Don't get me wrong, I do not regret any part of having children and I got pretty rocking kids too, but I do have hobbies and goals and I wish I had time for them too. Alas, they will have to wait.

Apparently neither of my kids eat chocolate chip cookies. Elena pulls out the chips and eats them, and Oskar hates chocolate. At least they have each other, together, they can eat a cookie. 

I love this picture.

I tried to have a productive weekend without the kids. Part of that productivity included me trying to Drylok our basement to actually get it suitable for visitors down there. I had good intentions, I really did, but all the spiders of the world have teamed up and apparently they don't like me in their lair. We've come to the understanding that I will stay upstairs and they will stay downstairs. That's how we're going to live now. That's it. They've won.

Oskar and Elena have been a little obsessed with Shrek the Musical. And "a little" isn't quite the right term. They are so cute singing it together in the car. I love it. One of my favorite things is when they learn something and apply it elsewhere. I took the kids to Pizza Ranch (this happens on Tuesdays when Dan is gone because kids are free) and Oskar looked at his food and said, "I'm gonna be on you like a fat kid on cake." Oskar knows this from Shrek. Pop nearly came out of my nose. He was just so serious. 

That's no camera trick. She is that white.

Easter Sunday, as always, was a bit sucky. I feel bad saying this because Easter is generally a fantastic holiday. But it is harder when you are a pastor's wife. It is harder when you have kids. It is harder when you have two (or was it three?) songs to play for bells during the service. It is harder when your daughter gets a new stuffed animal in her Easter basket, takes it to church and loses it before the service starts. It is weirder when this new stuffed animal is a mole because she is obsessed with the mole in the Bear Snores On series. Then Oskar found the mole during the silence before communion and Elena yelled out, "My MOLE!!!" and made everyone behind us crack up. This led to a discussion post service about why my daughter is so excited about an uncommon woodland creature. And no, it was not easy for the Easter bunny to find a stuffed mole. They are apparently not very popular.

In April, Oskar lost his first tooth. I had no idea how loose a tooth could be and still technically be attached. It was nasty. And he was not thrilled about it. It was hurting him so badly which led to him not eating much for a couple days so then not only was he in pain, but also hangry. This was one of the few times when his attitude was brought out in preschool and his teachers got to see some of his true colors. During an agonizing dinner it fell out and he was all smiles after that. The second one will fall out within the week and then we only have 18 more to go... this is going to be fun.

I'm sorry, but this is just too cute.

Some of you might be happy to hear that potty training is going better. She is trained in the day, but still wears diapers at night. The picture above might be one she is mad at me some day for putting online, but she is the cutest thing and she was so punchy that night it was hilarious.

I don't know what it is about her, but she gets so serious when eating ice cream.

We've been lucky to get up to the cabin a couple times so far this summer. Not sure if we'll make it up there again this year, but the kids LOVE being there. Especially if their cousins are there. We were up there for a beautiful memorial day weekend and then a couple weeks ago for my dad's birthday. Oskar said,"This is the best birthday party ever!" and his cousin was quick to say "Oskar must not have been to many birthday parties." I'm pretty sure that any time we are at the cabin is the best day ever according to him, so that easily translated into the best birthday party ever.

Yep, that is Oskar using a straw to get the ice cream out of his cone.

When packing for the cabin I've learned to just throw all of Elena's clothes in the suitcase. Between the forgetting she's potty trained while at the cabin and the sheer amount of dirt that girl gets into, we not only use all her clothes, but even have to do laundry while we are up there.

Skip to 0:29 or so. I love her reaction to seaweed in this video. "No. No.No"
That's nature, not nurture people. She has never seen my
reaction to seaweed, alas, she feels it in her heart.

The kids and I went up to Minot in April. It was a good trip, but 4 days in a row with 4+ hours in the car each day was trying even for my travel champions. Elena and Oskar loved running around the farm and Ellie got legitimately stuck in the mud. I picked her up and her shoes were left behind. Those shoes were NOT easy to get out of the mud. I love that the kids get to spend some time with their great-grandpa and aunts and uncle out there, but sometimes I wonder if they don't bring a little too much excitement to the farm. Children literally running in circles isn't exactly the norm at the farm.

I just started watching Supergirl. Not going to lie, I love it. I get what the hype is about. Favorite line so far, "If that pot sticker isn't in my mouth in 2 seconds I will melt your face." I also love that the newscaster is Perd Hapley, but a competent Perd.

When Elena was one, I did a temperament survey on her. I read it and put it on a pile in the closet and recently I rediscovered it. It is amusing, and crazy accurate:

"Emotional reactions for Elena may be loud and dramatic, even those reactions relating to minor concerns. Even though you may sometimes feel overwhelmed by the noise and energy generated by her, she needs you to react without emotional intensity of your own. The problem is not more important because it is loudly expressed. Consider what the problem is - not the volume at which it is communicated. When you feel overwhelmed, be sure to take a breather. Intense children often have a charm and charisma which makes them very appealing."

I'm thinking about putting it on a poster. Or maybe a tattoo on the back of my hand to give myself a reminder of how to deal with her. She is hard work, people.

Girl likes to fold, but apparently is not a fan of stacking.

That's all for now. I will try to be better and post more often, mostly for my sake because these take forever to write when I wait so long between them. But also for you. Thanks for reading!