Dorisa Quits Going to Church

Oskar works on his masterpiece. I realize this was a couple months ago now.

Masterpiece completed. I would do some things differently next time, but it was
still a good experience. Oskar loved painting.

No, it's not because I lost my faith when we were sent to South Dakota. Turns out He knew what He was doing and we are doing quite well here. As the weirdly confident Park Nicollet receptionist predicted, we are in fact, thriving. Seriously, I mentioned where we were moving and she couldn't have been more excited for us and no, we do not know her.

Back on track. Ignoring all previous knowledge and experience, we have decided to have another baby. Baby is due 11/25 and is being referred to as Turkey Baby. For those of you who were witness to my first pregnancy, no, right now I have no idea what I was thinking. I currently find that I am unable to stand for more than a couple minutes without having to lean on something and the nausea, which is actually not as bad as last time, is doing it's best to keep me near the bathroom. My situation with going to church would be difficult enough with just me, but add in a spunky 2 year old and I guarantee you I will lose the morning. I really did go into this pregnancy telling myself that every pregnancy is different and that this one will be great. One thing I have learned is that all the optimistic thinking in the world does nothing for how your body responds to a parasite.

I know that we are lucky to be able to have children, I get that. I know many people who would love to be sick for 9 months in order to get the family they always dreamed they would have. Honestly, it is just very difficult to remember how lucky you are when you do not remember the last time that you didn't dread having to stand up. I try to remember though, I really do.

It is a little better this time. I forced myself to eat a lot at the beginning when it was easy to eat and that has helped tremendously but I still find myself underweight which I think is where some of the lightheadedness comes from. I wrote a detailed description of my weight fluctuations, but it was boring. What you need to know is that I should not weigh as much now as I did in 8th grade. I am seriously trying so hard to eat and I am eating super calorie rich things, and meat, much more meat than I usually do and this parasite just keeps sucking it out of me! I am playing tug of war facing uphill on a 30 degree slope with something the size of a prune and I am losing. LOSING. I have rarely been so frustrated which often manifests as crying and then Dan thinks I'm sad but I'm not sad, I want to punch things, but oh wait, that would require energy and I have NONE.

The frustration only deepens when I think about all the stuff I want to get done around the house and the lack of energy and money I have to accomplish this stuff. One thing I am especially thankful for during this time however is a job that I can do from home, at any time of day. Yes, this is good.

Benefits of needing to be horizontal? I can binge watch Netflix without feeling too guilty. I'm almost done with Fringe, then I'll finish up Heroes and then go back to my Star Trek adventures. Good stuff! I could also write or work on genealogy which have been neglected hobbies as of late, but that sounds pretty close to being productive. Side note: Many of you know that I'm a fan of Doctor Who. If I can recommend just one episode to watch it would be "Vincent and the Doctor" in season 5. It is so good and can pretty much stand alone and give you an idea of what the show is like.

How is Oskar taking this new information? Well, he doesn't quite get it yet, but Mommy is on the couch a lot so this clearly means we should use her as a climbing gym. Double points if you headbutt her in the face. Dan and I have decided that if our next kid is even half as spunky as the first, we are screwed.

Oooo! I almost forgot! Sometime between now and 11 years ago they changed the formula for easy cheese. It's still great and if you're judging me I don't care. It doesn't get hard on the end anymore between uses! It also doesn't come out in quite as precise of a line as it used to, but that's okay.

So folks, here's to the next 7 months. We are going to share this "beautiful" journey together, because if I'm going down I'm taking every one of you with me. Have a good night!